Take me to the newest post!! =͟͟͞͞( ∩ ‘ヮ’=͟͟͞͞)

MORNING OF [2023-09-04] TOPIC first post, summer

first entry!! it took me like 6 hours to make this page with help from my freind (;﹏;). i wanted to go for a cute clover springey theme since seasonal depression is going to creep up on me soon! its the last day of summer and im not ready for school!! this summer was pretty chill. i did like absolutely nothing and ate alot of cola flavoured slushies. those are so good my god. we went on vacation to cuba and it was so fun !!! the beach was really pretty and i came back with 2 sandy ziplocks full of shells. we cleaned out the house today so i hope the work makes me sleepy so i can wake up fresh tomorrow. i have 2 classes w my friends so i think ill be okay ~ヾ(＾∇＾). hope yall like my new page!!!!!11!!!

NIGHT OF [2023-09-04] TOPIC school, daily

going to sleep now.. last night of summer! my first class is science and idk anyone there but the next is art and 2 of my friends are in that one so im hoping i can power through the morning. not much anxiety past i hope its not awkard lol. last year science was like...the most depressing class. our teacher was never there and skipped like 30 times. she would come late if anything. also flaked out on every day before an important test when we were supposed to be taught the material... we ended up actually skipping the astronomy unit on our exam because she was too behind in the course to teach it to us (T_T) atleast i have some other teacher this time. ill update tomorrow evening!

AFTERNOON OF [2023-09-05] TOPIC school, daily

back from school!!!!! today was a solid 7/10. i had science first and it was pretty boring since we did nothing and just sat there lol. next was art with my friends and it was pretty good since they were there. digital arts was great since the class was talktative, the teacher was chill, and i was beside my bestie >_o. math was last and the worst ngl. the room was BURNING and i was forced to sit beside some random boy in the front seat. we didnt even do any work.. and we weren't allowed to use our phone even then.. its not like i wanted to make conversation w the smelly guy beside me so i just sat there for 75 mins. i have it 3rd period tomorrow and hopefully i can move (@_@). overall i think i can make it through :P

NIGHT OF [2023-09-06] TOPIC school, daily, drama

i woke up today at around 6 (?) and really did not want to go to school. idk why is was just so upset all of a sudden. i went and got through science doing mostly nothing. then i had art and it was better, we had to draw a mannequin with a dress on it. i think i did pretty good! i had math next and was occupied with finishing the work so it was a bit better tha yesterday... just as hot tho. the guy beside me got up and sat somewhere else and i was so happy. i asked about changing my class and i have to wait a week to do anything so hopefully i can decide by then. they said to come back next week so i guess ill wait for that...i had digital art last and it was the best! other than when a group of girls took our computers when they saw us sitting there yesterday, one of them told me the seats were "reserved" and that i could go akwardly sit in the last seat in the corner (;¬_¬). anyways me and my friend sat across and had fun either way. we r gonna learn how to use photoshop and a wacom tablet !!! fun!!!. i felt alot better by the end of the day ( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ )

EVENING OF [2023-09-08] TOPIC school, daily

end of the first week of school!!! YAYAYA!!!（ ´∀｀）sorry for not updating yesterday,, not much happened. today was mostly the same but math was a bit better because we actually learnt something. i finished the homework super fast so i tried making conversation w the girl beside me (update: the stinky guy moved away to the back and this girl got sat beside me) she seemed nice at fisrt but later on i heard that shes been in alot of drama last year??? so um. my luck is not improving (ノ_・). every other class was the same as the last entry but scince got interrupted w us taking our ID card pics !!! i forgot that it was happening that day lmao. i probably look ugly ! anyways um happy i survied, lets see if i can keep this going d(´∀`)b

NIGHT OF [2023-09-11] TOPIC school, daily, drama, WTF!!

alot happened today... the first half of the day was normal, but it all went downhill once 4th period rolled around... i had booked an appointment to switch my math class with the counsellor, so i went down at 3:00 to get it done. me and my bestie had booked the same time so we could meet up and talk right after. BUT... the counsellor guy said no to me even though they were supposed to let you change regardless of why you wanted too? (-_-;)・・・ he sad i must be scared of my teacher because shes a bit intimidating.. im not because ive been studing for grade 10 since grade 6.. and then he proceeded to RUN UP TO MY CLASS AND TELL MY TEACHER?? i was horrified (⊙_⊙) because he suddenly got up and told me to follow him and he was jumping up the goddamn stairs like a rabbit (・_・;) he went up there, talked to my teacher in private (he shooed me away when i treid peeking out the door) and then dissapeared. what. WHAT??? I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT HE SAID? and he denied my friend from switching too cuz he figured out we were tryna get a class together...(╥﹏╥) in the end all we got outta this was our parents geting mad at us for arriving home so late and me losing my dignity (´；ω；`) b ZERO/10 day i hate u counsellor guy for making me wanna kms

AFTERNOON OF [2023-09-12] TOPIC school, friends

things are better all of a sudden?? i got my locker, my math teacher let me move, she also didn't say anything about whatever the hell the counsellor said to her. thank god. im sat beside someone normal i think and all the work is laughably easy so far ( ˘ᴗ˘ ). i was also in a student council video introduction thing they showed the whole school and THANK GOD our segment was short i looked greasy as fuck. no one made fun of me tho :D im doing good in art and digital art and science is okay too??? all of yesterday's drama seemed to dissapear today. glad whatever wishing i did worked out. quiz tomorrow and friday but i couldn't be any less worried. i'm just dealing with "i feel so cringey i want to just stop talking for the rest of the day" disorder (ᯣ_ᯣ )but it comes and goes so whatever. im not talking about feeling embarrased because u answered wrong in class, its like i'll be talking with my friends and suddenly ill just feel like i cant talk AT ALL and i wish i could just sit there and listen instead.like everything im saying just doesn't make sense?? and then i was just tweaking in period 4 and could not understand a WORD of what my friend was saying to me. i heard it but i didn't process anything. i wish i could just sit there and spectate sometimes but since im physcially there i have to react like a normal person (￣ω￣;)

NIGHT OF [2023-09-16] TOPIC weekend, school, drama, WTF!!

weekend update!!! my head hurts but im hoping this'll help. soo not much happened again. the girl im beside in math is fine and asks for help ocassionaly but i dont mind. we havent gone past the "randomly asking for help" but i hope we can be friends maybe! some trouble happened in my science class tho.. i forgot if it was thursday or friday but i was in my morning science class and the teacher gave us 3 worksheets to finish because his projector wasn't working. so i started working on them. the same 2 girls who stole me and my friends seats in digital art sit beside me, and they had noticed me for the first time. they started like trying to get my attention? by going "hii... hellooo.. oh shes ignoring us.. hello????" and at first i didnt know it was directed at me but when i figrured out it was i tried ignoring them. they kept on going tho so i eventually looked up. they asked me "who do you think is more annoying??? me or her" (p.s ive been asked this multiple times by them last and this year.) i just said i dont know yall well enough so idk. and they just kept pressing me and pointing at each other saying "oh shes TOTALLY more annoying LOLOL NOOO STOPP CMONN YKNOW ITS TRUEEE" and im all for friendly bonding but man it was 9 in the morning and we were in science. i dont have the energy for any of that. so anyways i contiuned with my work and brushed it off. i had finished before class ended so i just left the three papers on my desk and started reading. then the more vocal of the two comes up and goes "oh can i copy of your pages?? huh?? lemme take them thanks!!!" and i was just sitting there like ( •᷄‎ࡇ•᷅ )i dont like confronting people so i just went "um.. okay.." and started eyeing the teacher. luckily he noticed because they were being loud and told her to give me them back and just ask if she was that desperate for help. so. yay !! i guess. man i hate them (눈_눈). how can anyone have that much energy or confidence on a thursday morning (╥﹏╥)

AFTERNOON OF [2023-09-17] TOPIC art, home

my dad NEEDS to stop looking through my sketchbook man (╥﹏╥). i like exclusively draw girls in pretty dresses but man its just plain embarrasing at this point (-_-;)・・・. LIKE HE'LL JUST RANDOMLY CRACK IT OPEN AND WAIT FOR ME TO COME IN AND SEE HIM. I SWEAR ITS ON PURPOSE. and then sometimes when he really likes a drawing he would post it on facebook behind my back (⊙_⊙) although those are usually finished pieces so whatever i guess. man.

AFTERNOON OF [2023-10-09] TOPIC school, weekend, interests

HAII!!ヾ(＾∇＾) back from my unannounced hiatus! honestly, i wasn't in the mood to do anything productive other than school work so i kinda forgot to update for a while. anyways not much happened again...oh the girl who was bugging me changed schools LMAOAOOAO aaand i also got in honor roll!!! the ceremony is this friday and I'm super excited. hope i can keep that up for this year too! all my classes are fine, the most boring is probably science in the morning but its pretty peaceful now so i dont mind. we had a 4 day weekend this week (today is the last day) and me and my family went on a trip and almost froze to death. uhh we also went to the mall a week ago and i went up to this lady who was selling crystals and she gave me this little amythest tower for free???? like she said she usually hands out little unpolished pieces but she had none rn so she wanted to give me this.. and that she thought i was a sweet person.. i almost cried ｡ﾟ｡(TヮT)｡ﾟ｡ lately ive been feeling kinda uninspired in my art.. like i usually draw off of refernces online but i wanna make cute comics and drawings from my brain (╥﹏╥) its too hard thooo i cant remember how anything looks the second i dont use references.. i think im going thru art blockヾ(`ヘ´)ﾉ

EVENING OF [2023-10-09] TOPIC school, friends, stress

hello hello! recently im having some troubles with the student council... we were supposed to take this group photoshoot based on what positions we were in last thursday but i didnt attend because my friends weren't there to remind meee (╥﹏╥) so then we tried to resheduele to monday (today) lunch but i started my PERIOD!!!! SO I WAS DYING TODAY!! AND I STAYED HOME!! and one of the people in our position isint here so now we need to resheduele to friday morning but i never come to school early because i live 30 mins away AND the honor roll cereomy is on friday too RAAAAAH!! i really hope things go smoothly (-_-;)・・・ anyways on a happier note me and my friends have been playing minecraft on the weekends and after school for like a week or two and its been so fun!! i have like 20 cats and parrots and i made an aquarium in my room and i have a white pet frog named spoilt milk! (๑ºั╰╯ºั๑)♡ my room also has amethyst floors so every time i walk around it makes funny noises ( ˘ ³˘) its sooo fun to play minecraft w friends bro me and my bestie played for like 4 hours once while we were mining lolol its too fun

EVENING OF [2023-10-18] TOPIC home, sick!!, interests, stress

i caught a cold (T_T) i think im dyingnggg. i stayed home today because it was a late start and i felt like shit but im worried abt friday still (╥﹏╥) i hope things go smoothly. i definetly wont be able to breath thru my nose for like the next month now. im tryna make a page for all my fav characters but i used up all my energy yesterday before i started feeling sick... so maybe don't expect that coming out naytime soon loolol. recently ive been drawing lots of barn owls because im tired of drawing people and struggling with poses, maybe ill switch to animals for a while? i really like laufey's music... magnolia and i wish you love are my fav songs of hers. ive kinda been feeling saturated with music lately too tho. like i can't find anything good to listen to anymore? idkk maybe just cause ive been stressed w school. not really stressed tho since i finish all my work but i just dont like how short weekends are and how repetitive everything is. i tried maing a zine a few days ago it looks pretty ugly but it was fun! i think i might design one digitally and print it out. the one i made was about my fav crystals. honestly i think i should stop worrying about the fact that im using a template for my site or how good it looks.. i really just want a place to write out my thoughts and decorate w pretty gifs lol. its been bugging me recently but im gonna try and not let it anymore. not to say im not gonna try learning how to code from the bottom up when i have the time and energy!!! i tried keeping a physical journal a bit ago but stopped when i made this page. its more personal than this obv but i find typing alot easer than writing by hand.. it also looks better since my handwriting is scary lolol.

AFTERNOON OF [2023-10-20] TOPIC school, friends, foods

I HAD MY HONOR ROLL CEREMONY 2DAY!!! it went pretty well! i was called up near the begining and just had to sit there till they announced the names of about like 300 students.. by the end of it i was so tired (T_T) i ended up leaving w/my parents since it takes 30 mins to drive home and they weren't gonna drive again to pick me up only an hour after.. so i got to skip math and digital art hehe. i got the photos for student council done too.. it took less than a minute... shit was NEVER that serious for everyone to get that worried over it (¬_¬) by everyone i mean me but CAN YOU BLAME ME? the girl in our group was pissed and so was the president... anyways side rant that i want you to give me an opinion on: is it weird to only drink one slushie flavour at a time? me and my friends went to a convience store once and they had a buy one get one free slushie sale so my bestie (thanks pookie ily ) bought one and gave me the free one. as per usual i went to the coke flavoured slush and got a whole cup full. we pay and my friends start talking about how good the slushies were and then they noticed mine. AND THEN THEY STARTED GROUP BULLYING ME FOR PICKING COLA FLAVOUR AND NOT MIXING ANY FLAVOURS EITHER (╯︵╰,). SINCE WHEN WAS THAT NORMAL?? how can mixing 3 different flavours result in anything good. AND HOW IS COLA BAD?? im writing this as a drink a cola slush rn btw. same w people who mix pop drinks together.. unless its sprite + something i think ur gross. also fun fact i hate solids in drinks. i think boba is gross and so is any type of jelly in a drink. it messes my brain up.. its also why i hate soup. drinks SHOULD NOT be salty or have veggies in it. if i put that soup in rice then im fine but if you try and make me drink it i will vomit (speaking from experience). anyways guys lmk in the comments below !!111!!!!! (im too scared to add a comment section here because ion wanna get bullied!) (P.S if you saw all those edits to this page no you didn't!)

NIGHT OF [2023-10-26] TOPIC me!!!

hai guys! recently i've been thinking about my orientation a lot,,, with high school kids being teenagers and all the relationships and drama and the fact i go to an art school so 90% of the population is queer :0) i wanna talk abt my experience since its not something i usually talk about to anyone!

basically ive never dated anyone or even plan to untill im an adult because im brown and dont wanna get an ass whooping ! but ive known i was kinda different than my girl classmates (yes i went through a im not like other girls phase shh) since i was pretty young. i never developed crushes on any of the guys in my grade and never understood why it was happening to everyone. i remember asking my friend back then (still besties after 5 years :P) if it was normal and if there was something wrong with me.

soon after i started using the internet more and more and was introduced to gay people existing. i found it like REALLY interesting and looked more into orientations and all that jazz. i first got into reading more queer romance until i realized that hey. maybe id like this too???? reading / learning about wlw couples and people felt like idk naming this thing i knew i was but didn't know the name of

problem is... ive never crushed on anyone before?!??!? partially because, like i said, im brown and dont wanna get disowned, but also because i don't crush on people that easily i guess. but at the time this caused me to like doubt whether i was gay or not or if i was doing it for the trend, and i had like a few months of me trying to watch "cute boy pov" tik tok complilations to convince myself i was straight,,, anyway that ended and i ended up accepting the fact that i was something. not straight,, maybe bi? but something! i used this flag that basically meant like unsure of sexuality and had watermelon colours once for a pride class project, and i came out to my friends online (this was during the pandemic) everyone took it surprisingly well... so that was that. i still stay lenient with labels since im not completely sure of my orientation even now. do i like guys? for now no but what if im 21 and suddenly start dating one? having a specific label scares me since i don't wanna like break the rules?? i use lesbian in my about me since its easy for people to understand compared to all this! so thats all about what i think i am for now! :0)

NIGHT OF [2023-11-11] TOPIC update !! school, FNAF

Hi updating after like a month!!! pre exam week work overload is kicking my ass!!!! i wrote an entry when i was stressed a week ago but then scrapped it so yeah sorry bout that to the like 4 people who check this. we started making pendants in my art class from soapstone! im almost done, mine is in the shape of a stingray because i love them. im alot less stressed now because ive finished all the work that piled up over time (i still have a test on friday tho RIP) i stand by what past me was complaining bout because teachers at my school really do suck at course planning. Anyway my newest hyper fixation is gonna be FNAF once i have the time to finish watching coryxkenshin play all the games (i got up to him playing FNAF 3 so far and 2 is my fav rn) i love bonnie so much... hes mean in the game BUT HIM AND ALL THE ANIMATRONICS WERE SO CUTE IN THE MOVIE IM GONNA EXPLODE!!!! i get ppl criticizing the movie for being kinda lame or not scary enough but i think it caters for those kids who just wanted to make friends with the animatronics and defeat springtrap so everyone could be happy! its a cute homage honestly FNAF was never as serious and scary as ppl want it to be. anyway yeah bonnie's my fav hes so silly liyah if u see this i will kiss you on the mouth if u buy me that bonnie plush trust. why does he get like thrown under the bus in FNAF 2 and security breach tho. GIVE HIM BACK HIS FACE!! POOR GUY!!!

thanks for checking in! (*ˊᗜˋ*)/ᵗᑋᵃᐢᵏ ᵞᵒᵘ*

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